Micro Moments to Friendships, Relationships, and More

I love micro. Yes the dance. (Yes there is a dance called micro for those who don’t dance. What is micro?) But, back on topic, I love the idea of micro. I don’t know who said it, but they said it well, “It’s the little things that matter most”. So let’s get away from a fairy-tale version of large gestures in life and see the value of micro moments.

A micro moment is a momentary shared interaction that you share with someone that lasts less than a few seconds.

The beauty of the micro moment is it is quick, fast, and fleeting. It doesn’t ask anything of the other person; it is simply a one sentence statement directed at them. A micro moment can be a smile, a wink, the quick squeeze of a hand, or a shared moment of eye contact. And these small shared moments can, in a lot of ways, mean more than the largest of gestures.

You get to decide whether or not a micro moment with someone is positive (giving) or negative (taking). Think of your interactions with someone having a social bank account.

First, you get to decide whether or not a micro moment is positive or negative. Let’s say every time you give a positive moment with a person you add money to a joint social bank account. Since it is a micro moment, you add $5 each time. Now, additionally, whenever you take a negative moment with that person, you get fined $25. Also, since it is a bank account, you make interest off of all the positive earnings you have in your account. Once you get to $500, you get 1 share of friendship with that person.

At first, adding $5 each time to your bank account doesn’t seem like it does much. But, let’s say you add $5 everyday for a year, you would have $1,825 ($1,830 in 2020.) That’s 3 shares of friendship with that person. You are that person’s friend 3 times over. Now let’s bring that to a larger scale. Let’s add 50 people to this idea.

So, let’s say that you have a positive micro moment with 50 people each day for a year. That’s a total earning of $91,500. That’s a pretty reasonable amount of money. So, you would have 3×50 shares of friendships, right? That would be 150 shares of friendship. Wrong, you actually have 183 shares of friendship plus the interest you accrued on your account over the year. That’s a lot of shares of friendship in one year. Now, I realize that analogy isn’t perfect, but you get the gist right?

A series of positive micro moments add up really fast, and, soon, you will find that a conversation and a connection begins to form over time.

The beauty of giving micro moments is that you also receive value from each of those moments. Every time you give, you also receive. Connecting with people becomes easier and easier, all because you have been giving.

The trick of the micro moment is trust that it works because it does. It just takes time. It’s the long game folks. Remember, giving a positive micro moment takes little to no effort and provides you with positive benefits along the way. Slowly more and more of your shared micro moments with different people will add up and you will start to benefit with new friendships, relationships, and stronger bonds between the people you interact with everyday.

Don’t be afraid to create positive micro moments within your current group of friends, your relationships, your family, as well as new people you meet.

Don’t limit yourself by only utilizing micro moments with new people; create micro moments with your friends, your relationships, and your family. You can use these to build stronger relationships, repair past problems, and increase the quality and richness within your own life.

So, here’s my challenge to you, the actionable that you can use to change your life: for the next two weeks, give small micro moments unconditionally to people you meet throughout your day. Ask nothing in return, just provide little bits of value and move on.

As always, with much love.


Austin Hunt

Meet the Author:
Austin Hunt

Austin is the lead writer and creator of Points of Connection. He's been studying dating, relationships, and how to build authentic intimacy for over 9 years now. You can find him sipping away at a cup of coffee at a local shop making friends with the stranger next to him.

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